Concert In Quarantine (Parodies Volume 1)

by Five Times August

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credits

released April 10, 2020

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all rights reserved

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Track Name: We Didn't Spread The Virus
Democrats, republicans, indepependents, everyone
Wash your hands, stay inside
Make sure the world is sanitized

Shut it down, lock your doors
Is cancel culture getting bored?
Nothing left for us to do
But sit at home and watch the news

We didn’t spread the virus
‘Cause we were all at home, we had nowhere to go
No we didn’t spread the virus
We all just stayed at home, kept playing on our phone

Made it to the grocery store
No toilet paper anymore
I guess that’s what we need the most?
I don’t know why, that’s kind of gross

Frozen pizza, lunchables,
Shopping baskets looking full
Stocking up on all the seeds
I’ll save the world by gardening

We didn’t spread the virus
‘Cause we were all at home, we had nowhere to go
No we didn’t spread the virus
‘Cause we were all at home, just playing on our phone

No more south by south west
No more Disneyland I guess
No more Basketball events
All eyes on the president

Facebook full of scientists
Amazing, I did not know this!
All the posts, all the memes,
And government conspiracies

We didn’t spread the virus
‘Cause we were all at home, we had nowhere to go
No we didn’t spread the virus
We all just stayed at home, kept playing on our phone
Track Name: I'm Gonna Learn (1,000 Things)
When I wake up
Well I know I’m gonna be,
I’m gonna be here stuck inside this house with you

I can’t go out
But I’ve got a lot of things,
A lot of things that I could teach myself to do

Kids need a haircut
Well I guess that I could try
And be the dad who’s gives a haircut to his kids

I’ll learn a language
‘Cause it’s among the many things,
The many things that I have on my bucket list

‘Cause I can’t fly 500 miles
No I can’t walk outside my door
So I will learn 1,000 things
And I will learn 1,000 more

I started sewing
So if you’re running out clothes,
Just let me know, I’ll make a sweater just for you

I’m learning trumpet
I can only play one song
I play it wrong, but I will practice and get good

And now I garden
Because I bought a lot of seeds
So many seeds that I will grow some food for you

And I’m a cook now
I’m collecting recipes
From all my friends who post their dinner on Facebook

‘Cause I can’t fly 500 miles
No I can’t walk outside my door
So I will learn 1,000 things
And I will learn 1,000 more

‘Cause I’m inside!
I’m inside!
And I’m done driving, done driving to my work

Get inside!
Get inside!
Don’t spread the virus, please don’t be a jerk

‘Cause we can’t fly 500 miles
No we should all just stay in doors
We could learn 1,000 things
And we could learn 1,000 more
Track Name: Teach It
This craziness all started out on spring break
The kids were all at home and everything was great
The tired in their eyes had them in the bed by 8
And sleepin’, just sleepin’

They had their fun but it was time to go back
No more lounging ‘round and no more endless snacks
But then we found out this virus might attack
Now I teach ‘em, ‘cause they’re not going back

Yea, teach it, teach it
Find a lesson plan and teach it
Oh let’s, watch it on youtube, search it on Google
It doesn’t matter, just let the kids doodle
And teach it, teach it
Just teach it, teach it

I have to show them that I’m really not scared
I know a lot of stuff but I feel unprepared
I can barely get them dressed, but I guess I’ll do my best
And teach ‘em, just teach ‘em

Now the museum and the zoo are both closed
There’s an endless stream of questions I don’t really know
But if we want to stay alive, I guess I’ll keep the kids inside
And teach ‘em, ‘cause now we’re doing homeschool

Yea, teach it, teach it
Look it up online, repeat it
Oh, let’s watch it on youtube, search it on Google
Print something out, make art from old noodles
And teach it, teach it
Pinterest has cool ideas, yea
Now we’ re learning with Lego, class is in session
Everything here is now a life lesson
Let’s teach it, teach it, teach it
Teach it, teach it, teach it
Teach it, teach it, teach it

Yea, teach it, teach it
The house is a disaster, clean it!
Oh, had something on Netflix, now they want Hulu
Just give me one second, I’m trying to watch the news
Teach it, teach it
Just get yourself a book and read it
Yeah, I can’t help with math, we’ll do that stuff later
For bathroom breaks ask, but, conserve toilet paper
Yea, teach it, teach it, teach it
Track Name: When I Could Go And Do Anything
I should be at work but instead I’m sleepin’
Everybody is quarantinin’
Washing hands and over eatin’

Now we spend our lives sharing lots of memes and
Watching all the shows we’ve already seen and
Every moment spent inside we should really be readin’

I don’t want to waste my time
I know it’s only been a week
But I miss the days
When I could go and do anything
But if everybody stays inside
The better chance we’ll stay alive
And get back the days
When we can go and do anything

We had soccer games and parent teacher meetings
All delayed and now every evenin’
We’re doing puzzles and spring cleanin’
Kids arguing, and fighting more than ever
Every day we stay in here,
Feels like we’ll be here forever, forever and ever

I don’t want to waste my time
I know it’s only been a week
But I miss the days
When I could go and do anything
But if everybody stays inside
The better chance we’ll stay alive
And get back the days
When we can go and do anything
Track Name: What To Watch Tonight
It’s late in the evenin’
She’s wondering what show to watch
She puts on our Netflix
And turns the kid’s profile off
And then she asks me “Is Tiger King, alright?”
And I say “Sure, I guess we’re watching that tonight”

7 hours later
Don’t realize it’s 4AM
We’re so proud that we made it
Tomorrow we’re sleeping in
Then I remember what time the kids wake up
And I say darlin’, there’s no sleepin’ in for us

There’s no sleeping in
Because they get out of bed before sunrise
They come charging in for breakfast and
They just don’t realize
How late we stayed up

We’re 6 feet apart now
On opposite ends of the couch
We have Amazon Prime now
We browse movie trailers for hours
And that’s when I tell her “Hurry up and decide”
She says “I’m trying, I don’t know what to watch tonight.”
And I say “Darlin’, Police Academy 4 is fine.”
Track Name: Yesterday (Except It's About Coronavirus Quarantine)
Yesterday, I could drive around to any place
I could shake your hand or touch my face
And I had Purel yesterday

Suddenly, I bought way WAY too much rice and beans
And toilet paper is now a currency
And we’re all social distancing

Where’d I like to go? I don’t know, I couldn’t say…
Binge watched every show ‘cause stores have closed since yesterday

Yesterday, all my kids could go outside and play
Now I’m their teacher and don’t know what to say
Oh, public school just yesterday

Where’d I like to go? I don’t know, I couldn’t say…
All my foods run out, I’m not proud, made it just one day

Yesterday, everything was basically the same
Wasting time on my phone most the day
But now I see we’re all insane
No more Purel as of today

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